We were anticipating going home today. No such luck. Solana's jaundice numbers are too high, so she needs to go under the lights. I was hoping the color I noticed in her skin this morning was just her developing mama's olive tone. Not so much, I guess.
It's slightly heart wrenching to have your 2 day old taken from you, except for feeding times. I suppose it was probably a blessing in disguise though. I hadn't gotten more than a few minutes of restless sleep in the past 2 nights, and saw no signs of getting any as long as we were in the same room together. The exhaustion mixed with the ridiculous amounts of hormones surging through me were getting to be a bit much, so a little rest was definitely helpful.
Added bonus, by being here a third day, I finally got to see the lactation consultant (they were a bit busy and understaffed to put it mildly). And thank goodness I did. Learning to breastfeed is quite possibly one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I now understand why so many mom's choose formula. It was painful and horrible and brutal. And then the lactation consultant made one little change to her latch and everything has been A-Ok since. (Well, once I healed from the damage she inflicted the first couple days, that is.)
We had to double feed her while she was under the lights, to help flush her system as quickly as possible. So I would pump after every time I fed her, then we would supplement with that at the next feeding. We were using a syringe to supplement while nursing for the first day, but that was a bit painful against my sore parts, so we decided to go ahead and try a bottle.
They typically recommend against introducing a bottle for the first month, until breastfeeding is established, but there is no confusing this little girl's latch, so we were given the green light. Of course, she was also given a pacifier by the second night, when I was at wits end with her crying and my exhaustion. She's quite the sucking soother, so I'm glad we went ahead with that one too. It works like a charm...until it falls out, of course!
It's amazing how quickly all of those health education class recommendations go out the window when the baby actually arrives. As one particularly sweet nurse put it while sitting with me at 3am, "It's about survival now. And figuring out what works best for the three of you." I really appreciated that. It's not about doing everything by the book, or according to standards set by goodness knows who...it's about getting by as best we can, with as much love as we can possibly pass on to this little person.